saying goodbye means forgetting
by The Slytherin Duke
Summary: Saying goodbye is never easy.


**_A/N: This is an AU. An alternate universe. You can consider this as one of the realities that Peter told Henry about in my other fic (that can be found here)._** **_Warning: Character Death_** _**Summary: Saying goodbye is never easy.**_

Peter sat in their – his bedroom, looking at their – his framed photographs displayed around every available surface. He scanned the room, looking at each of them, feeling his heart break, with every frame. His eyes finally fell on the one in his hands. It was one of his favourite pictures with Henry. It was taken on their first anniversary; they weren't looking at the camera, Peter was looking down at Henry while Henry told him something. He was quite sure that it was something about his literature class. They looked happy and content. Henry accepted him for who he was, even the darkest parts of him. He loved Peter with no second thoughts. Peter could still see the blood in his hands and feel the weight of Henry's lifeless body in his arms. He could hear Henry's last words and the last words he spoke to the love of his life. It stayed in his mind, it kept repeating over and over and over again. Peter didn't look up at the knock on their – his door. He heard the doorknob turning. "It's time." He heard Felix say. Peter didn't want to move. He couldn't move. "Peter."

"I know." Peter said, taking a deep breath. He wished that the events of that night changed. They stayed in like Henry wanted, if only he'd listened. "I'll be right there." Peter told him. Felix said a quiet okay before closing the door again. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. He won't ever be ready to say goodbye.

Everyone had lovely things to say about Henry. He was well-liked and well-loved. Everyone loved him. Peter sat next to one of Henry's mother, Emma, waiting his turn to say a few words after Regina, Henry's other mother. "No parent should ever bury their child." Regina choked out. Emma took that as her cue to stand up, wrapping her arms around Regina. "I wish I could bring him back." And she couldn't say anything more. Emma pulled her to the side, giving Peter the go signal that it was his turn.

Peter stood infront of Henry's coffin. He had written a few things down, things he wanted to say but none of it felt right. Peter looked at the picture they chose and looked at the ground in front of him before looking at the people gathered there with them. "Saying goodbye to things or people we love is never easy." Peter started to say. He looked at his hand, at the ring glimmering under the sun's light. "Especially when the person you have to say goodbye to is your whole world. Before I met Henry, as most of you know, my only family was my friends. I wouldn't consider myself an orphan because I had them and we loved each other like family, like brothers but I was alone. No matter how much love we had, I always felt alone. And as cliché as this may sound, I felt alone until I met Henry. It's cliché and some of you may think it's a bunch of bollocks but it's the truth. Henry lit up my whole world. Henry is the love of my life, if this were a fairytale, he'd be my true love, he'd be my happy ending even though I might turn out to be a Villain and Henry will end up trying to reform me." Some of the attendants, their close friends, smiled. "If this were a fairytale… we wouldn't be here. My Henry would be a Hero. Heroes never die in fairytales.

"But life is anything but a fairytale. That's the bitter reality. Losing him, it's not easy. I'm quite an adventurous lad… Henry and I often made trips because of my insatiable hunger for it. Life without him? It's not an adventure I ever wanted or pictured to go on. I honestly can't imagine my life without him, without seeing him smile or hearing him laugh or just not being here with me. I don't know where I'll go from here." He said honestly, feeling vulnerable. He looked at Henry's picture. "I know most of you think that I proposed first but honestly, Henry was braver than I ever will be when it comes to love and emotions. After he proposed, I went to the nearest jewelry shop and bought a ring for him and asked him." Everyone smiled at the story. Peter took another deep breath and looked at Henry's coffin. "I don't know how to say goodbye. There's no easy way to say it, the simplest form is just not enough to express how much I will miss him and how much I wish he was still here. Even if there was an easy way…" Henry took a rose from the display before walking over to the coffin and placed the flower on it. "My Henry." He whispered. "I won't say goodbye, not now, not ever. Because saying goodbye… means forgetting and I can never forget you."

Peter finally broke down, his strong façade shattering in front of everyone. He sobbed clutching on the handle of the casket. He wanted to turn back time; he wanted to listen to Henry about staying in. He wanted Henry to come back to him. He wanted… He didn't want to say goodbye. There weren't enough times that Peter told Henry that he loved him, that he was the love of Peter's life. There weren't enough moments that Peter made him feel that. Henry didn't enough time to make his dreams come true, their dreams come true. It wasn't fair. Why did Henry have to die? Why didn't he die with him? He felt hands help him up; realizing later that the hands belonged to Rufio and Felix. He sat back down in his seat. Emma pulled him into a hug and felt the comfort of a mother for the first time in his life.

Henry's shooter was still out there. The police was doing their best to catch him, whatever that meant. Peter has long learned ago that it was wrong to put one's trust in a cop. He stayed after they buried Henry. He knelt with one leg while the other bent in front of him, staring at the mound. "I used to think that you're bad for our son." He didn't have to turn around to know who it was. Regina and Emma have always been protective of Henry and often expressed their disapproval to Henry about his relationship with Peter. "But now I see that you somehow made him live his life." Regina told him. "You made him complete, in a way we can never do."

Peter wiped the tears in his eyes. "He would have been glad to hear you say that." Peter said. "He didn't hate you for not liking me."

"He wouldn't want you to live in anger." Emma said, crouching down beside him. "I know what you're thinking and I know that the pull to have revenge is strong but Henry wouldn't want you to do that."

Peter's shoulders tensed and he looked at Henry's biological mother. "You don't know what I'm thinking." Peter snapped. He got up in a fluid motion, glaring at the two. "You don't know who I am and you don't have any business telling me what to do or what Henry might have wanted for me!"

Emma didn't seem to mind that Peter was already walking away from them because she spoke loud enough for him to hear her say. "We owe it to our son to look after you. Whether you like it or not, Pan. We're family."


End file.
